MILLI

This is Milli. She has a voice that makes you melt and a particular fondness for pop songs by Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift. She lives what some would call a simple life, amongst the beautiful Pacific Islands in the city of Suva, Fiji.

I've been to Fiji several times and I’ve always thought of life there as simple and relaxed. It's an uncluttered paradise, free from our Western ambitions of success, productivity and material gain. Fijians don’t have much, but maybe it’s because they don’t need much. This is attractive for Western tourists: people flock there for holidays and are warmly welcomed and served by the friendly Fijian people. They go on village tours and gain insight into a laidback lifestyle that, unlike our society in the West, is built on community and dependence upon each other. 

During my most recent visit to Fiji, I had the opportunity to work with Milli on a chicken farm in Suva. It is a small business that helps run a women’s rehabilitation centre called Homes of Hope, which begins healing in mistreated women and teaches them life skills to help them become independent and to raise their children. Milli had recently graduated from the program. Getting to know Milli was getting to know a side of Fiji that isn’t advertised in travel magazines or seen inside a resort.

In Fiji's relaxed village settings, the mistreatment and oppression of women can be easily hidden, and for Westerners on a village tour it is easy to turn a blind eye. But working in Fiji I realised that cases of forced prostitution, incest and domestic violence against women are simmering just below the surface. These women have been lied to about their worth, about love, about sex and, in some cases, have been treated like dogs. They now have children they don’t know how to relate to and sometimes don’t even want.

 

The sexual exploitation of women in Fiji was a huge surprise to me. Although Milli’s story isn’t as shocking as some I heard, it is much more common.  When Milli found out she was pregnant to her boyfriend (the man she thought she was going to marry) he abandoned her. Not only that, but for cultural reasons her family disowned her. “Here in Fiji when a young single girl gets pregnant they are not accepted by their family or community,” she says. "My mum and dad said horrible things about me and told me to move out. I wanted to commit suicide, because it was my only option."  Milli’s story speaks for hundreds of young women who’ve found themselves pregnant, lost, and totally alone.

This is where Homes of Hope comes in. The program teaches women like Milli basic life skills about working, parenting and becoming independant. Importantly, it also offers counseling to restore their self-worth and help them discover that they are precious and loved. A lot of women like Milli have been lied to by men and treated as sexual objects and this has left them confused and disillusioned about the true meaning of love. This can make it hard for them to interact with and genuinely love their children, especially given the circumstances they have been born under.

 “When girls have been rejected by their families for being pregnant, the hatred they have towards their families they often take out on their children,” Milli says. “Every time I see my daughter I say “I love you” so she knows that she is appreciated by me.”

When I first came to Homes of Hope, I was overwhelmed by the womens’ stories of sexual and emotional abuse. But what became even more overwhelming was the change in girls when they realized that they are not worthless but that they are valued and loved. With the help of the program Milli has gone from a desperate girl on the verge of suicide to a beautiful young mother who glows with hope for her and her daughter’s future.

 

“While growing up I never knew this term “hope”… until the time when I was hopeless and was about to commit suicide”, Milli says. “Now that idea of being hopeless towards me and my daughter has turned out to be the opposite.”




For more information about Homes of Hope Fiji go to: www.hopefiji.org/